It’s been a while since I posted anything. I’m still writing, still filling journals, still leaving scraps of paper with my scrawled notes around our flat, but I just haven't felt like sharing anything and that’s cool. Creativity often comes in weird and unexpected waves, and things seem to work better when I surrender to the flow, rather than paddling my ass off trying to catch a wave that isn’t there.
Something else about creativity is that there are infinite outlets for its expression. Over the past few years, there has been an explosion of all this new age stuff - find yourself, find your purpose, find your passion. While I am a huge advocate for finding and doing what you love, I am an even bigger advocate for trying different things and staying open. Heck yes, I want to fill my days with things that bring me to life, but I don't ever want to be pigeonholed by them. When there is a smorgasbord brimming with options for creative expression, why limit yourself? Look at Einstein. He is known for his work as a physicist, but what brought him the most joy was actually his violin. Go figure.
After my last blog post, I was starting to feel boxed in. I was pressuring myself to write and sidelining other things that make me feel alive. So I took the pressure off writing, and got back to feeling free, feeling amplified. I went to a few morning raves before work. I went to a gig, rocked out on top of people’s shoulders and danced so much my feet hurt the next day. I cried a fair bit whenever I needed to. I danced around the lounge as much as necessary. I rolled around on the floor laughing with friends. I listened to a lot of music with the volume turned up loud. I bought a bright red dress, followed by a yellow one, followed by some cowboy boots. I went running, walking, did burpees, anything to feel breathless.
If I could give advice to my younger self, here’s something I might say. Do what you love, but always stay open. Say yes to all the things that light you up and make you feel electric. Experiment. Forget about needing anything to make sense or needing to know who you are. If you really feel the need to fit yourself into a box, fine. Just be sure to make it massive, decorate it, brainstorm crazy ways to destroy it, or live so big you feel like you're spilling out over all the sides.